stop growing, would ya?

I've never been a full time mom. Of course I'm always a mom... but that role has always been shared with other titles & responsibilities.  I was a senior in high school when I gave birth to my first born.  After graduation I immediately enrolled in community college.  I worked as a waitress while I went to school.  College didn't work out. After two years of general studies and no idea of what I wanted to do with my life I realized I was wasting my time.  So I got a job at the best gig in town. A major credit card company. I was a bill collector.   Money was great... much better than the weekend tips I was receiving before.  After some time I got overly zealous about a network marketing job & quit the good gig to make hundreds of thousands of dollars every year selling legal insurance plans... so I thought anyway.   No over night millionaire here.  I did love the feel of the heels, suits & sales pitches though. It was empowering. I had a huge desire to be a powerful business woman. a fast talking, multi-tasking, order giving, business lady.. in heels, of course.  Independent sales ended up not working out quite like I envisioned.  It wasn't long until I was able to get a job at my church. I was grateful for that. I had many roles there until I went on to work another sales job. Then I worked yet another sales job. The "business world" glitz and glamour had worn completely off by that point.  Yuck. I hate sales.  Now, nursing school.   I also help Stephen with the young adults ministry. I love it. It's a rewarding role & one that I know God has given us grace for. I love me some YAMers. It's always good times in the making, for sure.  It's fulfilling & I love the relationships we are building.  I don't consider it a "job", but it is work and a lot of responsibility.   You know what I've never had though... I've never had the role of just "mom". I wonder what that feels like.  I wonder what it feels like to just be a mom. That "just" is a good "just". I know being a mom is never "just" being a mom. Being a mom is such a multi-faceted job in itself.  I do wonder what it's like to wear only the mommy/ home-maker hat though.  No morning rush hour traffic, no submission deadlines, no pressure to read 5 chapters before the big exam on Friday, no event advertising, no note-card studying, no event planning meetings.  None of that. Just me, being a mom...  I am certainly not complaining. I'm just wondering...

I know I am where God has me for now. 

The point of all of this is only to say that I've just been thinking a lot lately about how fast the girls are growing. I hate the thought that they are only little for such a small amount of time. I am starting to "hear" & take notice when people tell me... "take advantage of it when they are young, because they grow up so fast". And boy, do they! 

It makes me sad some days. Today is one of those days.