romance and a noisy shower

I am in love with Jane Erye. 

I am only taking 2 classes this semester... one of them being Women in Literature. 

This is how I met Jane Erye. 

I was actually supposed to read the book. I watched the movie instead. I know... completely unethical & wrong on so many levels. I should be ashamed of myself. I comfort myself with the fact that one day when life is not so crazy busy I will most definitely take the time to read the actual novel instead of just veg out and watch the extremely long movie... which is what I did for most of the day. 

I did that, gave Madison a spelling quiz (then she retreated to her room & finished the rest of the days work on her own), and I took a shower... while the kids cooked dinner. 

I knew I was taking my chances with that last one. When I came downstairs the oldest babe had the middle babe locked in the closet. The youngest babe had made a mess most of the english muffin pizzas. Screams & banging were heard for most of the duration of my shower. 

My husband is supposed to be home from a 3 day business trip in about an hour. My goal was to have the house sparkly for him when he got home. But instead... I blog and fantasize about Jane & Edward's romance. 

ahh. 

and I'm ok with that... 

life goes on just the same. 

letting my guard down

Some times when I’m feeling overwhelmed or really stressed I close my eyes and I picture Jesus. I see myself walking up to Him as He wraps His loving arms around me. I bury my head in His chest. I'm wrapped up, safe in Him as He kisses the top of my head and let’s me know everything is going to be ok. Sometimes I even feel the wings of the Father engulf us.

Keep me as the apple of your eye; Hide me in the shadow of your wings.

(Psalm 17:8)

I know He’s always with us. That visual means so much to me though. I’m so safe there. So secure.

The security & love found in God is like no other. I know that. I feel it. I’m confident in it.  I’m also realizing that it is necessary for me to rest in the strength of my husband too. Today’s woman is so strong and independent. We have fought so hard to find our place in society… to become equal to man. I think in many ways we have fought so hard to get from one end of the spectrum that we have found ourselves at the complete opposite end. I long to be the woman I read about in scripture…  who is strong and self-confident, but also able to let her guard down and rest in the strength of her man. There is something very liberating and satisfying in that. There is a demand on women these days to be independent, strong, self-sufficient, and never weak. To admit weakness and find strength in a man is almost taboo.

Do you agree?

I feel like there is a feminine side in all women that longs for that… to be taken care of and protected. That’s why the old time romance novels still intrigue our modern day women. 

Well the hubby & I are faced with a decision. One that I have fought long and hard to oppose him on. I’m tired of wrestling it though. I’m exhausted spiritually & I’m exhausted emotionally. I’m raising my white flag. I still don’t feel like I am completely on board yet, but I have made my mind up that I’m willing to let go & move forward with this and trust him… and I’m also at a new place where I know… no matter what… It’s going to be ok.

If we fail, we fail together. Thankfully we serve a God of second chances. If we succeed, we succeed together. We are team.

Do you have any thoughts on how marriage/family has changed over the years?

***

We are spending our long weekend out of town with my in-laws. We are in the Appalachian Mountains. So beautiful. There is a fall chill in the air that has me extremely excited about this next season… I hope this little chill makes it down the mountains and over to my neck of the woods soon.

I pray you have a wonderful holiday weekend.

xoxo