romance and a noisy shower

I am in love with Jane Erye. 

I am only taking 2 classes this semester... one of them being Women in Literature. 

This is how I met Jane Erye. 

I was actually supposed to read the book. I watched the movie instead. I know... completely unethical & wrong on so many levels. I should be ashamed of myself. I comfort myself with the fact that one day when life is not so crazy busy I will most definitely take the time to read the actual novel instead of just veg out and watch the extremely long movie... which is what I did for most of the day. 

I did that, gave Madison a spelling quiz (then she retreated to her room & finished the rest of the days work on her own), and I took a shower... while the kids cooked dinner. 

I knew I was taking my chances with that last one. When I came downstairs the oldest babe had the middle babe locked in the closet. The youngest babe had made a mess most of the english muffin pizzas. Screams & banging were heard for most of the duration of my shower. 

My husband is supposed to be home from a 3 day business trip in about an hour. My goal was to have the house sparkly for him when he got home. But instead... I blog and fantasize about Jane & Edward's romance. 

ahh. 

and I'm ok with that... 

life goes on just the same. 

letting my guard down

Some times when I’m feeling overwhelmed or really stressed I close my eyes and I picture Jesus. I see myself walking up to Him as He wraps His loving arms around me. I bury my head in His chest. I'm wrapped up, safe in Him as He kisses the top of my head and let’s me know everything is going to be ok. Sometimes I even feel the wings of the Father engulf us.

Keep me as the apple of your eye; Hide me in the shadow of your wings.

(Psalm 17:8)

I know He’s always with us. That visual means so much to me though. I’m so safe there. So secure.

The security & love found in God is like no other. I know that. I feel it. I’m confident in it.  I’m also realizing that it is necessary for me to rest in the strength of my husband too. Today’s woman is so strong and independent. We have fought so hard to find our place in society… to become equal to man. I think in many ways we have fought so hard to get from one end of the spectrum that we have found ourselves at the complete opposite end. I long to be the woman I read about in scripture…  who is strong and self-confident, but also able to let her guard down and rest in the strength of her man. There is something very liberating and satisfying in that. There is a demand on women these days to be independent, strong, self-sufficient, and never weak. To admit weakness and find strength in a man is almost taboo.

Do you agree?

I feel like there is a feminine side in all women that longs for that… to be taken care of and protected. That’s why the old time romance novels still intrigue our modern day women. 

Well the hubby & I are faced with a decision. One that I have fought long and hard to oppose him on. I’m tired of wrestling it though. I’m exhausted spiritually & I’m exhausted emotionally. I’m raising my white flag. I still don’t feel like I am completely on board yet, but I have made my mind up that I’m willing to let go & move forward with this and trust him… and I’m also at a new place where I know… no matter what… It’s going to be ok.

If we fail, we fail together. Thankfully we serve a God of second chances. If we succeed, we succeed together. We are team.

Do you have any thoughts on how marriage/family has changed over the years?

***

We are spending our long weekend out of town with my in-laws. We are in the Appalachian Mountains. So beautiful. There is a fall chill in the air that has me extremely excited about this next season… I hope this little chill makes it down the mountains and over to my neck of the woods soon.

I pray you have a wonderful holiday weekend.

xoxo 

homemade play dough

This play dough is almost like the real thing. I actually like the consistency even better.
We keep it fresh in plastic baggies.

Good stuff.

Ingredients:
- 2 tbsp veggie oil
- 1 1/2 cup flour
- 1 cup water
- 1/2 cup salt
- 2 tsp cream of tartar (found in the spices @ the grocery store)
- food coloring (you decide intensity)

a tweaked version of this recipe.

time to start studying again

(Source)

Since I've been home I've been  catching up on cuddles and good times.

I've been studying too....

I'm so excited. I went to a nursing school info session before I left for El Salvador.  

There are 3 types of degrees for Registered Nurses:

Associates degree (community college level)
Diploma (a little higher)
Bachelors degree (the highest)

The original plan was to get my associates at the local community college. I've been completely through the pre-requisite program... on the path for that degree.... BUT I think I'm changing my mind.

There is a local (and I think national) chain of hospitals in my city. 2 of their  hospitals are magnet status (top notch recognition). The other 2 are well on their way. I knew that this was the group I wanted to be employed with from the get go... but I didn't consider their nursing school because, at first, it was just about getting through as quick as possible.

After the information session I have officially decided this is the program I want to be a part of! It's a bachelors in science program.

They had 8 flags lining the classroom as I walked in...

Quality, Respect, Compassion, Growth, Integrity, Innovation, Justice, Stewardship

It's a faith based program with all the best accreditations. Student loan payback programs. Application/ interview assistance. World mission/local outreach focus (optional medical mission trip junior year)...

Why didn't I want this before?!?!

Every communication I've had with this program has been over the top sweet and helpful. They stressed in the session that every person no matter what faith, color, ethnicity is a precious gift and should be treated with the utmost dignity & respect. What is all nurses had that outlook? :)

Application deadline is Oct. 1st for Spring semester. The great thing is that the classes I've already taken are a part of the curriculum & will transfer.

Last semester there were 250 applicants & 56 were accepted. The entrance exam is a big part of it.

I've already starting digging into the study guide (400 pages... ay yaya)  This score means everything. 

I want this BAD.

I have some artsy ideas for an Etsy shop to raise money for missions. I can't wait to get started on those projects.

For now though... I study.

a beautiful nation

( the team of young adults that I had the privilege of heading up & rooming with this week...
with our wonderful, sweet, fantastic translator.)

Most of the places that we visited in El Salvador were the worst areas  in and around the capital city. However, just like any other place El Salvador has it's good places & it's bad.

The small area that we experienced was so beautiful. Mountains lined the background. 

Volcanoes rose through the clouds.

We were fortunate enough to be able to hike down a beautiful waterfall.

some were adventurous enough to swim at the base.
I stayed on the slippery rocks & took pictures... 

top of the waterfall... where we started

hairy little fellas we found on the hike down

We also got to hang out on the beach to relax & reflect on the week. 

The Pacific ocean is a lot rougher than the Atlantic.

I have battle wounds to prove it. We had a lot of fun though.

El Salvador is a beautiful nation. The people we met were just as lovely. 

the slum

Today was the hardest day yet. We visited an area they called “a slum”. It was a huge area overcrowded with tin roof shacks. They said that 7-10,000 people lived in the small area. 

As we climbed off the bus we were met with a stench like I’ve never smelled before. A few children flew their home made kites over the power lines. As we walked through the small area we saw some women doing laundry in buckets outside of their small home. Another woman cooked what looked like tortillas on an open stove under a small shelter. 

The people met us with smiles and warm greetings.

We later learned that the people who lived in the neighborhood had been relocated by the government. There was a need for a dam to be built near their previous home so they were given this field as their new home. It was very sad to see that none of the homes had a solid foundation. Most were made out of what we would consider trash. Advertisement banners, mattress box springs, recycled lumber, tarps with holes, large rocks, trash bags, and a lot of barbed wire. Someone said they saw a stove top used as a front door.

We made our way to an open field where we performed our dramas, played games with the kids, did face painting and shared the love of God. 

Many people became Christians today. We encouraged them with the message that they were created for a purpose and God loved them.

As I prayed with one woman who had just decided to follow Jesus she wept and wept. I held her and told her everything was going to be ok. I told her that her struggles were seen by God and she now had a hope in Him. I encouraged her to talk to Him and ask Him to guide and lead her. I told her that she would now experience true joy and peace that can only be found in Him. I told her she was beautiful and precious to Him. That He loved her & was so happy she turned to Him. She wept out loud. I knew she believed me. I held her in my arms and we rocked as she thanked God.

We saw and experienced devastating things today. 

I leave there wishing I could do more. 

I am happy knowing that we did impact their lives eternally. I'm happy in that, but my heart still aches. 

I leave a changed person. I thank God for the privilege to be so blessed. I didn’t ask to be born in The States. I am so thankful that I was though. I am grateful for my house that in our American eyes at about 1200 sq. ft. is farely smaller than average for my family of 5. We have running water, we have a solid foundation, I have a bed to sleep on, I have climate control, I have running water, I have a toilet. I am protected from the elements. I have clean water and food. I take these things for granted… not anymore though. I am blessed to be a blessing. I’m asking God to show me what else I can do.

I know He’ll show me. 

***************************

Ways to make a difference: 

Educate yourself: 

- Get your free copy of "Revolution in World Mission" here. This book will change your life. Do you long to let go of self-centeredness and be more eternally minded? Do you desire to make a difference in the lost world but not sure how to go about it? Read this book... it will teach you about missions and change your perspective on life. 

-Another great book (not free though) is Operation World. I love this book. It's broken down by country & under each country it lists geography, people, economy, politics, and religion facts about each nation. Then there are also pray needs for each country. As you go through the book reading and praying your eyes will be opened to what the world is really like. 

 Donate:

-Feed my Starving Children (this was the food supply that we saw at the feeding center... our donations really do feed the starving children) 

-Gospel for Asia- our donations support missionaries in Asia who are spreading the Love & Gospel of Jesus. 

Sponsor a child:

-Compassion a dear blog bud of mine just traveled to Honduras as a Compassion advocate. Her stories tell first hand the need for sponsors. Please check out her posts here. 

-World Vision 

Both of these organizations are Christian based. They don't just meet the physical needs of these children. They also impact their eternity by sharing Jesus with them.

Pray:

-for your world, these children, & missionaries everywhere! 

prayers in the park

We picked the perfect time to go to El Salvador because they were celebrating a national holiday. The children were all out of school and everyone had Friday off of work. We went to a local park in the center of the capital city. 

The original plan was to perform some of our dramas. Unfortunately, we were not permitted to sit the sound system up or perform so we took the youth through the crowd for personal evangelism. We shared the gospel and offered prayer.

The prayer requests we received helped enlighten us on the true hardships that many of the people face. One man asked us to pray for him and his co-workers. He was a construction worker and he said gangs would come to his job site and demand money. They threatened that if he did not pay them a portion of his paycheck they would kill him and his family. We prayed with him and encouraged him.

Many prayed for protection. 

it makes you wonder where they are accepted....

That was a common prayer request. It made me realize that I take for granted the safety I have at home.

I've realized this week that I take a lot for granted. 

A woman we met said she was pregnant and wanted prayer for her new baby. She also said that her husband kept dreaming that he was going to die. We prayed with her & ensured her that Jesus had a plan and a purpose for her, her husband and her baby.

While we were walking through the park one of the park workers jogged to catch up with us. He saw us praying for people and told us that he was a believer in Jesus and wanted us to pray for his health. So we did. He was very thankful that we were there.

At one point 3 young guys that looked to be about 20 or so caught our attention. They were following us, very curious about what we were doing. We approached them and were able to carry on a conversation with the help of our wonderful translator. The guys asked us where we were from and what we were doing. We shared with them that we were from The States and we were there to share the good news of Jesus Christ to the people of El Salvador. They were elated. They too were Christians and thanked us for caring about their people. It was really awesome to see young people so excited about what we were doing. We chatted for a bit and then one of them encouraged us to not stop our work for Jesus. They thanked us several times. It really was encouraging and much needed at that very moment because we had just spoken to a man who was very angry and bitter towards Christianity. He had been hurt. It didn’t seem that we got anywhere, but we did share scripture with him so we counted it as sowing seeds into his heart. We can only pray now. His friend shared with us that he was going through a lot in his life, but he refused to turn to God for help. She had talked to him and tried to encourage him to trust God & forgive. It was discouraging to see his hardness. The 3 young men were right on time with their encouragement.

God always is. 

holiday traffic 

we met so many great people

***************************

Ways to make a difference: 

Educate yourself: 

- Get your free copy of "Revolution in World Mission" here. This book will change your life. Do you long to let go of self-centeredness and be more eternally minded? Do you desire to make a difference in the lost world but not sure how to go about it? Read this book... it will teach you about missions and change your perspective on life. 

-Another great book (not free though) is Operation World. I love this book. It's broken down by country & under each country it lists geography, people, economy, politics, and religion facts about each nation. Then there are also pray needs for each country. As you go through the book reading and praying your eyes will be opened to what the world is really like. 

 Donate:

-Feed my Starving Children (this was the food supply that we saw at the feeding center... our donations really do feed the starving children) 

-Gospel for Asia- our donations support missionaries in Asia who are spreading the Love & Gospel of Jesus. 

Sponsor a child:

-Compassion a dear blog bud of mine just traveled to Honduras as a Compassion advocate. Her stories tell first hand the need for sponsors. Please check out her posts here. 

-World Vision 

Both of these organizations are Christian based. They don't just meet the physical needs of these children. They also impact their eternity by sharing Jesus with them.

Pray:

-for your world, these children, & missionaries everywhere! 

orphanages

Today the entire group split up into two groups. We each visited government sponsored orphanages. Our team went to an all boy facility (ages 11- 17) They were happy to see us.

We played a game of dodge ball and soccer. My team lost dodge ball. It was still fun & the kids were just happy to be playing.

The little boys kept coming up to us for hugs and high fives. 

They were so sweet. I could tell they were not flirting with the girls... they just wanted to be held and receive the love & attention we were giving them.  It was sad to hear about how the facility operates. There is a school in the area… but for some reason it is optional for the kids. They do not have to go, so most of them don’t. It reminded me of the Lost Boys on Peter Pan... except these boys were locked in. 


There is a small tech center that has a few sewing machines and an art room. We didn’t get to see it, but I could imagine there wasn’t much in there. One of the workers told us that they were about to open a “meditation” room. Our Pastor promised to stock it with Spanish Bibles. The boys were really excited about that & couldn’t wait to receive them.

We met a man and his two children at the orphanage. His story was very touching. 

He used to live in Pennsylvania, but after a few mission trips to El Salvador he felt the Lord leading him to move to San Salvador. He quit his career in computers, sold his house and his car & now he lives in San Salvador ministering through Ywam. He works at the boys orphanage frequently. I couldn’t help but think about the faith it must have taken for him and his wife to uproot their family.  

The man told us that the boys receive very little life skills and when they turn 18 they are kicked out. What a bad situation. His mission is to change that and do what he can to make things better. 

The boys watched a few of our skits and then were given the opportunity to receive Christ.

Our Pastor shared a powerful message with them. They were told that even though they may not know their fathers or maybe they had had a very bad experience with their fathers they could trust in the fact that there is a Heavenly Father who loves them and wants the best for them. They were encouraged to continue to pray to Him, read their new Bibles, and ask Him to help, guide and lead them. They were told that they were created with a purpose and God will help them to fulfill that purpose if they trusted in Him.

Most boys made a decision today to become Christians.

Please pray that they will continue to grow in God and get to know Him in a more intimate way. Also pray for that faithful man & his sweet family. 


My heart breaks for these children. These orphanages were not like the Christian ran orphanages I visited in India. These children are not even identified through the government. When we dropped the larger group off at the other orphanage the guys were all instructed to respect the space of the girls because most of them had been sexually abused by family members most of their lives & unfortunately for many the abuse continues in the facilities. 


Many of the orphans suffered from debilitating disorders. They were unwanted outcasts. Parents, without the means or willingness to take care of their disabled children... were left. 


The team met a 13 year old who was pregnant with her 3rd baby. 


I couldn't imagine the pain, hurt and rejection. 


Please pray. 

God is the Father to the fatherless. (Psalm 68:5) 

***************************

Ways to make a difference: 

Educate yourself: 

- Get your free copy of "Revolution in World Mission" here. This book will change your life. Do you long to let go of self-centeredness and be more eternally minded? Do you desire to make a difference in the lost world but not sure how to go about it? Read this book... it will teach you about missions and change your perspective on life. 

-Another great book (not free though) is Operation World. I love this book. It's broken down by country & under each country it lists geography, people, economy, politics, and religion facts about each nation. Then there are also pray needs for each country. As you go through the book reading and praying your eyes will be opened to what the world is really like. 

 Donate:

-Feed my Starving Children (this was the food supply that we saw at the feeding center... our donations really do feed the starving children) 

-Gospel for Asia- our donations support missionaries in Asia who are spreading the Love & Gospel of Jesus. 

Sponsor a child:

-Compassion a dear blog bud of mine just traveled to Honduras as a Compassion advocate. Her stories tell first hand the need for sponsors. Please check out her posts here. 

-World Vision 

Both of these organizations are Christian based. They don't just meet the physical needs of these children. They also impact their eternity by sharing Jesus with them.

Pray:

-for your world, these children, & missionaries everywhere! 

field ministry

In most of the areas we visited each of the little villages were separated and blocked off. The pastor told us that the area is very territorial. No one entered the others area. However, there were several open fields and places for them to come together. Little fields where they congregated and the children played games, flew kites and had a good time. 

On many of the ministry stops we simply stopped the bus and took groups through the streets with a translator to invite people to the park. 

They didn’t seem to mind us in their areas at all. Most received us and were happy to have us there.

We were happy to be there.

At the park we had face painting, soccer tournaments, jump roping. 

We had not planned to braid hair but the children and some of the younger ladies fell in love with our teams long beautiful braids and they asked them to braid their hair too.

So they did.

We had the activities for about 45 minutes. Then we went straight into the dramas. 

Each drama had its own message and most of them had no words, just music. 

After the dramas there was an invitation to the group to accept Christ. 

After they prayed the groups went through the crowd praying and chatting with people.

Most of the kids love soccer. However in a few places the children shared with us that they don’t play a lot because there are no balls. So each area we stopped we were able to leave several balls for them.

We also left a lot of hope.

It was good. 

One of the field ministry days I was asked to share the meaning of each skit and give the crowd the opportunity to become Christians.

I shared (with the help of translator) the meaning of what they had just seen…

God is waiting for every person to give their heart to Him. He is our creator and He made us each for a specific purpose. He sent Jesus, His son, to the earth to die on the cross as a sacrifice for our wrong.

All we have to do is receive it. Accept it. Nothing we can do to earn it. Nothing too bad that we’ve done that can prevent us from having it. Never to young. Never to old. Never too early. Never too late.

Once we receive the gift our spirit is awakened and we can have the joy, peace and purpose that can only come from a relationship with Jesus.

Not only does He restore us and provide a new life here on earth but He has also promised an eternity with Him in Heaven. Our Forever is secure in Him.

We just have to believe and receive it by faith.

They did.

I prayed, the translator translated and they repeated a simple prayer that will change their life forever. They asked Jesus to come into their heart, make them whole, and guide and lead their steps into His will... 

the only place that we can find true freedom. 

It was really good. 

***************************

Ways to make a difference: 

Educate yourself: 

- Get your free copy of "Revolution in World Mission" here. This book will change your life. Do you long to let go of self-centeredness and be more eternally minded? Do you desire to make a difference in the lost world but not sure how to go about it? Read this book... it will teach you about missions and change your perspective on life. 

-Another great book (not free though) is Operation World. I love this book. It's broken down by country & under each country it lists geography, people, economy, politics, and religion facts about each nation. Then there are also pray needs for each country. As you go through the book reading and praying your eyes will be opened to what the world is really like. 

 Donate:

-Feed my Starving Children (this was the food supply that we saw at the feeding center... our donations really do feed the starving children) 

-Gospel for Asia- our donations support missionaries in Asia who are spreading the Love & Gospel of Jesus. 

Sponsor a child:

-Compassion a dear blog bud of mine just traveled to Honduras as a Compassion advocate. Her stories tell first hand the need for sponsors. Please check out her posts here. 

-World Vision 

Both of these organizations are Christian based. They don't just meet the physical needs of these children. They also impact their eternity by sharing Jesus with them.

Pray:

-for your world, these children, & missionaries everywhere!